Friday, December 3, 2010

Letting go..

Half of my patients in the female ward are in the geriatric group (age more than 65). Some are good old people - a term we use describing the functional status - independent, mobile and lucid. Some are the opposite..

So I had a patient.. 95 year-old lady... with some underlying medical problems. She was admitted to a different hospital before this. She told her children she wanted to die at home.. so they brought her home. However, the children noted their mother was very breathless that they could not bare looking at her mother like that.. she brought her to my hospital...

In the ward, she was not doing well and she knew her time is coming.. she wants to leave in peace. Some culture believe the best to die is to die at home, not the hospital. So, both the team and family decided to let her go if she deteriorate further. A mutual understanding that can sometimes be difficult to achieve between healthcare and family members.. May she rests in peace..

Loving someone is not only by keeping them with you, but sometimes letting them go. Letting them go in a dignified way.. in peace. I am sure she has had a wonderful 90 years of life. As for the children.. I am sure they were good children to her that they do not have guilt and regrets if she goes. Some people, at the very last minute of someone's life.. tend to decide to keep them. Not for the best interest of that someone.. But for their own best interest.. due to guilt etc... 

The thing is, cherish whatever we have, whoever that person is.. more so if they are our parents. Treat them well. Think as if either one of us can go at anytime and we do not want regrets and guilt. Keeping is not always a sign of love but letting go can be a sign of love.. a TRUE and SACRED love.. A sacrifice.. 

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